a stupid dream

never expected a dream like this, a dream of him like this, and a dream of a somewhat triangle relationship like this. shouldn't have been about him, nor me.
but there we were. me, him, and his wife. can't believe he is a husband now to some girl i never know. still a boy in my mind. and there were us staying together in my dream.
still i tried hard to please him, carefully to do things right. still he was so careless, absent-minded to see, or feel. nothing interested him. nothing that i did was worth any of his attention. i wasn't there while i was, for him. his attention was only on her. her single move made him anxious.
it was a losing battle. no pride to keep at last.

maybe i still haven't accepted his leaving, after all these years. while i believe everyone changes, i refuse to see it in him and dream that he stayed for me. what a nonsense.....

but that boy will remain forever in me.