at first i refused to watch the movie. joy division always depresses me, and the way ian was on the stage always reminds me of a certain unbearable panic and horror. he would kill himself by staging himself in front of the crowd. every show was a suicidal effort.
then i refused to watch more. he would drown me.
i got the movie anyway, and muze amazed me. she made the subtitle and uploaded to shooter. a getaway from her papers. my getaway has always been movies, so why not control?
white & black. the only color for ian curtis. a never-grown-up kid, that's what i had in mind at the end, struggling among the movie, bejeweled and drowsiness. when all of us say that the world is cruel when we are young, why should i still came to this conclusion? at least show a bit sympathy, for my love to his songs? but if you are going down, why dragging me as well?
he had this subtle, unpredictable feeling for his lyrics. a kind of poet.
he touched hearts without knowing it himself.
he was doomed. at least he felt that he was doomed. and the feeling of being doomed made what joy division was at the time. so it was only him, destructive & destructible.
the young actor devoted lots of efforts. still, he lacks something. maybe that's why this ian is so young and vulnerable in the movie. a portrait of the actor's mind reflection.
it's only a parade to go through all my beloved joy division songs, if i can't put myself to listen under the sun.
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